I used to carry a heavy load. The picture proves this.
2011: I was living a lifestyle that involved constantly traveling (within the US) and I partied like a rockstar…I have never been shy around a camera, and only my closest family members mentioned to me that I may need to become more mindful of my weight gain. Weight gain was code for lifestyle. Over time, I realized that my lifestyle was not fulfilling me. Although it looked like I was happy, I was masking wounds, running from demons that needed to be conquered, and over indulging in everything I could afford. I traveled to attend the best brunches, had at least two of everything, and was just doing too much.
2014: The shift to identify my true self began. I moved to a different city and began to shed the material load. I discovered that I was a Creative, and I had the power to influence culture in a unique way. I also accepted that I was heartbroken and bitter. I started listening more and talking less. I learned that it was okay to not know everything.
2016: I began to shed the emotional load. I used to drink myself into oblivion; a toxic state. When I made some life changing decisions, both professionally and personally, I made a personal commitment to stay sober through the most painful moments. I dealt with a loss of income, depleted savings accounts, ending of relationships and a death in my family that made me question my faith in God… but God never loss faith in me.
2017: The weight lifted. I began to recognize my truth and myself. I developed confidence and began to actively practice gratitude and love. Self-care became my religion.
It’s 2018, and I am in Africa. Over a period of several years, I changed my life. IT DID NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT. My decisions were unpopular to my African Parents initially, but God touched their hearts. I mention them because I really care about what they think of me. The list of people whose opinions matter to me is a short list, and they are at the top. Having their blessing means the most. It’s apart of my culture and although I resisted that for a long time, I have come to understand why a parent’s blessing is important to your spiritual growth.
I share because if you look to me for inspiration, know that my journey is far from picture perfect. Have intentions to become the best version of yourself in all that you do. I know now that God has always had my back. Also, the glow-up is real. Go for it! It’s more than a word… but you get the point.
I hope you find value in this note.
I Am… Gayima